The MRI is stable! Whoo hoo! The Doc recommended that I continue with the current treatment. I agree. I talked to him about the episodes I have been having and we upped my dosage of the Lamictal. No episodes have occurred since.
When the doctor told me the good news I was on the table while the nurse was trying to access my port and the doc was talking to Todd and I. The good news is heard and he does NOTHING. A hug, kiss, a good job - nothing. My feelings were more than hurt. I distanced myself from him and I told him how I felt on our way up north. His response? "I would have if the nurse wasn't in the way". Bullshit. She did leave the room and there was still nothing. I feel defeated. This is the person I am spending the rest of my life with. We should be in tune with one another's feeling and needs by now.
The weekend was busy up north and we really didn't have time to talk about things. He asked me what was wrong a few times and I just kept saying the same thing that was wrong Friday. He doesn't get it. I am not accepting that this is a 'man thing'. My friends and family were happier for me and showed more emotion.
As the week went on and my wounds scabbed over and became itchy I decided to order myself flowers. No one in my house does it so why not? I ordered a beautiful bouquet of white daises, red roses and purple accents. It was a replication of the bouquet Todd gave me at the beginning of our relationship. I walked in the house with a big bundle tucked in the crook of my arm and he greeted me at the door. I told him I ordered flowers for myself. His reply, "I was going to do that for you tonight". BULLSHIT.
I am so tired of the was going to, should haves, would haves, and I didn't know if you would like it so I didn't.
