Hit me again

I was at the Hospital yesterday getting my chemo. Today .. I am doing ok-ish. Just a little nausea so we will see how the weekend progresses. I have not lost my hair!! I did loose some from the radiation. So there is an area above my right ear that is bald but it can pretty much be covered by my longer hair. I'm pretty happy about not loosing it all especially since I will be in Florida in 3 weeks! Whoo hoo!! I'm ready for some sun and warmth and escape.

New Chemo time

WTF? Why do we allow our Drs to put this shit into our bodies? I've been on the verge of puking for 4 days now. I had my first treatment with the new stuff on Thursday and it wasn't too bad. Even Friday. So Todd and I took off up north. BAD mistake. Saturday was a different story. All I did was lay around and be miserable. Hell, I still am. I want to eat without the fear of vomit. That's all.

Trucking along

Treatment #6 - the final one is tomorrow. I made it! I am still holding onto my hair and also holding my breath that Thursday it doesn't fall out. It usually takes about 2 weeks. I kinda like my hair right now so I wouldn't mind it staying around. I got my daily anticonvulsant drug level upped and hopefully that will help with the seizures. I'm trucking along. 2/27 is getting very near and I have already started with a stomach ache. My nerves will be working overtime this next week. Maybe while I am at the clinic tomorrow I will go into the chemo room and see if anyone is on Carboplatin to see what they think of it. I need some Yoga. I also need some vacation. I get a joyful week off of work in a few weeks so that will be nice. Too bad it's without pay. Damn economy.

3 Today! WTF?

I have not had a seizure for WEEKS and now today.. 3. One early this am, one this afternoon and one literally just now. I had to wait till it was over to bitch about it. Damn. This radiosurgery better be working.

Met with oncologist today. He's putting me on Carboplatin and Avastin. I will start 2/27. Hope I don't yack my brains out like I used to on CPT11. That was the worst. I know I will be a wreck my first treatment but I will get through it. Just have to make sure the toilet is clean!

I feel fine today after my first radiation treatment. Hope to continue this way.

First Radiosurgery treatment

Here I am laying on the table. I wanted a picture of it. I can't see what it looks like so here I am. It kinds freaks me out to look at it. I mean, it looks like I could be being tortured at any minute. Actually it kinda was near the end. They had me strapped in that mask for an hour. My ass was asleep and the back of my head was developing marks from the mesh cup that my head lay in. My dad called me and showed up. He couldn't let his little girl do it alone (awwww). That was nice of him although I got to see him for about 5 minutes before I went back into the room. Ah well. It was nice. After the treatment I went to the waiting room to collect my dad and my mom was sitting there. Double surprise! Dad had to go but mom stayed for the doc appt. The doc wanted to see me so she went too. He explained to me that he wanted to do 6 treatments instead of 4. I'm not concerned. He knows what he is doing, right? So we went over some stuff that we had already been over but mom had some questions. I love the way he answered one of hers! She wanted to know what happens with re-growth - if there were to be any. The doc told her she should not worry about that. She should focus on what is happening now. I hope she heard him.

So the treatment was a snap. I laid there , got zapped and went home. I worked out - I actually did 2 classes and now I am home. I have to take my steroids and then I am in for some TV watching. The best part of my day? MY SISTER RETURNS HOME TOMORROW!!!!!!! YES! I can't wait to here her voice. It's been a long 2 weeks.

One more thing. I love this - my friend's son called me today to tell me he was thinking about me and hopes I get better soon. He's 8. How cute is that?

New journal

If you don't get enough of me here - try here!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jennifermartin

Focus

One good thing - I still have a job. A job I have lost focus of because of the current information, layoffs and an oncoming cold. It's really hard to sit at your desk and be interested when the mind is a million thoughts away and you REALLY are not liking what you are tasked to do. Like I said, It's a really good thing I still have a job. Phew. For now anyway.

Tomorrow I start my radiosurgery, I'll get zapped 4 times. I had my mask made on Monday and had simulated radiation treatment. I will be laying on a table with a mask over my face that is attached to the table. It will keep me still while the radiation is administered. I'm a little frightened. Just that it is all starting again. There won't be any side effects for now. Doc says that the side effects that may happen will be stroke like. More likely I will have another reoccurrence before I experience radiation side effects. My side effects that i have had for the last week are nausea and fatigue from the stress. Oh and I think my left shoulder is up around my ear it is so tense. I am going to try to get a massage this weekend. Whoo hoo! Anyone???? Anyone???

There are so many people around me to support me. I love you all.

I'm going to try to take a pic of me laying on the table - I've never seen it. If it's not too horrifying I'll post it.

Numb

Well, I finished the second round of chemo - actually I was 2 pills short because of my wonderful memory I left the dang things in the fridge when we went away for the weekend.

I had a MRI today and the results are not the best. Shit. There are some bright specks on the scan. There is even a spot that is progressed into my brain. The other tumors have stayed on the surface of my brain. The docs have to meet with tumor board tomorrow night and they will all make their recommendations. I feel the spinning down the funnel feeling starting. There is a lot going on right now and I am going into shut down mode. Layoffs start this week at the office and yesterday morning we all got an email stating a mandatory 1 week off of work... UNpaid.

A girl needs a break. I'm taking a sleeping pill and heading to bed.

Shiver me everythings!

OMG My car registered -8 this morning on the way to work. Ugh and WTF? Detroit area was colder than Anchorage Alaska yesterday! Is that exciting? I think not.

Well, I did it to myself again. I can't sit still and pay attention. I've had a low grade fever for over a week and last weekend I went to kickboxing came home and went xcross country skiing and then as I pulled in the driveway I noticed fresh snowmobile tracks. Todd was out tooling around so I got ready and we went out. I made dinner after we got home and then collapsed at 10 with a 100.9 fever. Pay attention my body screams. Sunday I went skiing again and took my niece sledding. Again. Fever. Monday I was achy and lethargic all day at work but raced home to take a 45minute nap so I would be rested for kickboxing. Did that and came home almost in tears. I felt horrible. I was achy all over and just didn't fell well. Ok so I am listening now. I stayed home from work Tuesday and didn't go anywhere. Wednesday I went to work but not to the gym. I feel better! Getting rest really works! Imagine that.

Work announced layoffs again last Friday. My goodness I will be glad when this is over whether I am on the chopping block or not. Speaking of - lunch is over.

Happy 2009 already!

WOW! It's January already. I completed my first round of chemo with out any major happenings. The usual stomach issues and a little nausea was it. Thank goodness for that.

Todd and I had a wonderful holiday that we spent with family and friends.

I finally returned to work on Jan 5 for good - well until the next day off (Hooray for MLK).

I see Doc Anderson Friday and am not scheduled for tests until the end of the month. Until then...

PS on the "woman" issue. I finally stopped bleeding all together now (for about 3 months now) and am off the depo shot. It's been 6 months since my last shot and no period has come back. Love that but now I am also concerned. OBGYN took some hormone levels so hopefully all is ok. If it's not one thing it will surely be another.....